So lately I haven’t had much of a drive to do anything that I used to do.  Before Thanksgiving, I seriously kicked major bootay.  After Thanksgiving, I realized something that I hated (and still hate) about myself:  I depend on those twirpy little twats that have testosterone pumping through their veins, otherwise known as the male species.

Hello.  My name is Brittney Moore, and I have a problem… I am addicted to guys.

Now wait a second, I don’t want to send out the wrong message — I am in no way a whore.  Nope, nada, no way sir.  I stick to one man at a time and am quite the loyal girlfriend.  All I’m saying is that I never had the chance to adapt to that mystery called the single life, and I take all the blame for it.

It was my mistake… but my favorite one at that.

Do you hear Sheryl Crow in the background now?  I do… “You’re my favorite mistaaake…”

Cool beans.  First step done, now to do something about it.

There is no way that I would trade my amazing man for anyone else in this world, please understand that.  In fact, I give him full credit in almost single-handedly helping me realize my fear of being alone, or at least taking it head-on to get over it (thank God that he’s a psychology major, right?).  Just by being half a state away from me during the summer was something huge that I had to get over.

But I’m finally getting over the fact that he’s at home, and I’m stuck here… without him.

Oh cry me a river… oh, wait, I already did…

Something hit me in the face this evening when I was talking to my mom about all of this.  I realized that I didn’t have my drive anymore; nothing seemed to matter to me no matter how much of an impact it had on my life.  I didn’t care about class, work or even my own health.  I had lost that drive to stay on top and ahead of the game slowly over the course of one year… It’s amazing how much drama a few people can cause.

But, I’m over it.  I’m done, and I’m climbing back on top.  I’ve got my to-do list for the summer… and hopefully I’ll stick to it for the rest of my life.  It goes something like this:

1. Get confidence/self-esteem back.
2. Reach 120-130 lbs.
3. Gain back my muscles!
4. Figure out my major (journalism vs. graphic design)
5. Run two miles (or three) straight.
6. Learn to live without a guy… or at least stop being so needy for one’s attention.
7. Go to eating all-natural/raw foods.
8. Go without wearing make-up for a week (I know, it might have an effect on #1 but it saves time in the morning!).
9. Learn to ride a bike in traffic.
10. Get tan (I’m white as a ghost, dearies.).
11. Take a fitness class (I’m feeling yoga, kickboxing, pilates, cycling…)
12. De-stress my poor little self!

Seem reasonable?  I think so, too.  Plus, I hear guys dig self-confident women. Rawr.

I am climbing back on top.  The butt-kicking me is back, baby, and as fierce as ever!