Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.That’s alright, because I like the way it hurts.Just gonna stand there and hear me cry.That’s alright because I love the way you lie,I love the way you lie.-Rhianna
Posted in Life | Leave a Comment »
I am no one but a penniless individual seeking anything to get me away from here.
Tonight I am feeling very Holly Golightly… for those of you that don’t know who that is, Holly Golightly is the free-spirited character played by Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. It’s one of my all-time favorite movies. Ever. Even better than Devil Wears Prada.
In Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Holly is a young, single woman living in New York, partying every night with different men from just about any financial background—but she has her eyes set on the richest single men under 50 in the world.
Now, I’m not so swingin’ like Holly… we share another characteristic.
She doesn’t like to be tied down. She doesn’t like being anyone’s possession, property or princess. She is a wild bird, flying free; she shares more things in common with her cat named Cat than anyone else.
I don’t like to be tied down. I don’t like being anyone’s possession, property or princess. I am an individual, a free-spirited bird that cannot be restrained. Sometimes I feel like I share more things in common with Holly Golightly than anyone else.
Moon River,
Wider than a mile,
I’m crossing you in style, someday.
Oh dream maker,
You heart breaker
Wherever you’re goin’, I’m goin’ your wayTwo drifters,
Off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see.
We’re after the same rainbow’s
end, waitin’ ’round the bend
My Huckleberry friend
Moon River, and me…
I believe the final scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s sums up everything.
Posted in Life | Tagged audrey hepburn, breakfast at tiffany's, free-spirit, holly golightly, love, single | 1 Comment »
Howdy folks, long time no post… mainly because I honestly haven’t had the time to keep up with it… but now, late at night, I’ve decided to finally give way to my conscience and write a new post.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my blog lately, realized that I need to step up my game a bit and find my niche (which I haven’t yet, still working on that minor detail), but now that I think about it, life in general is a pretty big niche, don’t you think?
And since my blog’s title is in fact “Life in Slow Motion,” (emphasis on the slow part) why not just blog about life’s happenings, changes and issues?
So be it. My blog is simply about life… life and its journey… because I of all people should know how much can change in a short amount of time.
This time last year, as some may recall, I was in a slump. Last Thanksgiving was simply hell for my family and I as I dealt with a serious break-up (that you can read about to your heart’s content here, although it’s completely one-sided), and last Christmas was even worse thanks to me… well… getting serious with a guy that wasn’t in my family’s religion.
And that’s a huge deal with my family.
So you can imagine how well that went over… “You need some time for just you, you don’t need to date, you don’t need to date him,” etc. And, I’ll give my family credit. They were probably right, I did need time from guys. But I’m stubborn and strong minded, and therefore I ignored them completely, which resulted in a HUGE blowup from me… It wasn’t too pretty.
Looking back on all that now, I realize that true love doesn’t always come easily, and that some things really are worth fighting for.
This Christmas, the man I fought so hard to have, so hard to have approval from my family, proposed to me. And I said, “Yes,” after a long pause to take it all in. Thanks to my brother, Brad Moore, it was caught on video for all you lovelies to watch it here.
Since then, I’ve been obsessing over Annie Little’s “Fly Me Away.” You may have heard it on the Amazon Kindle commercial this year. I love it 🙂
But really though, I’m going to be a married woman this time next year. Can you believe it??? Me, married at 21. Holy crap, can you say reality check?
No more depending on parents.
I have to file my own taxes (ugh).
Find a REAL job (no internships, mall jobs. Crap).
Somehow get medical insurance (yeah, good luck with that).
Car payments, rent, furniture…
OH! And graduate the spring AFTER I’m married… so that means I’ll still be in school… At least I have a semester until the real world smacks me in the face, right?
God wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle. Perhaps He’d give me something to straighten me out, teach me a lesson, build some character, but nothing I couldn’t handle.
I totally got this one. I have a year! Easy schmeasy. Once I buy that dress, it’s all down-hill from there, right?
(By the way, anyone that knows of any venues in the Franklin/Nashville area or Knoxville, let me know!)
*Hopefully* December 18, 2010 will be the first day of the rest of my life with Rob Williams. I hope to have an evening wedding, low-lit chapel with Christmas lights… cool silver-blue and white peonies accent the dresses… me walking down the aisle in a dreamy white (or ivory) form-fitting dress that lets out in organza below the hips, adorned in crystals… walking down the aisle to meet a man with a look of pure joy coming from his eyes, happiness walking—no, sprinting—across his face as his smile lights up the room. He’ll hardly be able to stand there to wait for me to meet him at the altar… he may run to meet me in the middle…
Fly me away… take me away with you my love ❤
Posted in Life | Tagged Christmas, December wedding, desire, dreams, engagement, growing up, Life, love, marriage, wedding, wishes, young bride | Leave a Comment »
Yesterday morning I had to do one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life…
I drove for 3 hours 200 miles in the opposite direction my heart wanted to go in. It was the single most painful thing I’ve ever done…but I’m sure it won’t be the last.
If anyone has ever been in a long-distance relationship, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. It was all I could do to keep the car heading where I knew I had to go…all I wanted to do was turn the car around, drive back to his house and jump back into his strong, secure arms.
But, this is all part of growing up, and I have to be a big girl now and deal with it.
Right now, I’m dealing with it by listening to his Goo Goo Dolls Greatest Hits CD and crying like a freakin’ baby typing this thing up.
Hold on, before it’s too late, we’ll run til we leave this behind…
Stand on the edge with me, hold back your fear and see nothing is real til it’s gone.
Chatting on Facebook one night I expressed to him worries that I shouldn’t even be worrying about, sticking true to my nature of course. He told me something that night that I’ve been clinging onto for comfort and to serve as a reminder to me…
Come back down to earth with me.
It’s all going to be all right.
God knows I needed to hear that. He hates when I can’t stand to be away from him…but it just takes me a few days to adjust. At least this time it’s easier; I’m getting used to the fact that Knoxville isn’t his home right now.
I guess now would be a good time to tell our story, from my perspective at least…I wish I could tell it from his point of view—he’s a much better story-teller than I am.
It all started last November when I ended my 2 year relationship with a previous boyfriend. Rob and I were in the same French class, and we had chatted a few times after class and on Facebook, so we were decently good friends before we dated.
One night I invited him over to work on homework and bake cookies… according to him, we “found each other the sweeter sight.” He’s right.
Our first kiss happened that night, too. We were sitting on the couch, and having finished our hot chocolate and pumpkin cookies long ago, continued our conversation that started as soon as he walked in and my guard was down. I was hugging a pillow close to me, and he noticed that I was doing so. He was quite the smooth operator, leaned over to me and said he usually cuddles with people. I, being the innocent naive one, allowed him to take the pillow from me and put his arm around me. We started holding hands as our heads continuously got closer, and then we looked up at each other.
He kissed me, and my feet haven’t touched the floor since.
Oh, that man… I’m telling you it scares me…it scares me to death. I can’t think of anyone else that I’ve been so attached to, where the moment we part for a long time I feel like a part of me is missing, where as soon as I see his face my heart skips a beat…
I’d give up forever to touch you, because I know that you feel me somehow.
You’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be, and I don’t want to go home right now.
I just don’t want to miss you tonight…
It hurts. I’m not going to lie…but I think it’ll make me a stronger person. I never knew what it felt like for my roommate to do the same thing I had to do, but for an entire year. At least he’ll be back in August. If I can last that long, then I think I’ll be OK.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Before It's Too Late, Franklin, Goo Goo Dolls, goodbye, goodbyes, hardest things, heartache, Iris, Knoxville, long, long distance relationships, love, Nashville, pain, parting, struggle, University of Tennessee, UT | 1 Comment »
It’s true. The saggy pants bill (love the puns in the headline) will fine anyone caught with their pants down, revealing their boxers, briefs, thongs, or should some dare to go commando, derrieres.
Honestly I think someone should’ve done something about mullets, but that’s another day.
Absolutely cracks me up… no pun intended. For once Tennessee is taking fashion seriously, however, I believe the government has some more important issues to worry about.
Butt out, legislature! Seriously, aren’t there other more important issues to tighten up and fix besides low-riders?
Oh, but on to more important news… I saw this via Twitter, and mark my words, it will eventually get to the boondocks of East Tennessee. Perhaps we finally have the upper-hand on the fashion world! I would like to see the legislature take a stab at covering THAT underwear up.
No, seriously though, since when has the state of Tennessee gave a crap about fashion? I mean, yeah, it’s disrespectful sometimes and very distracting to others when someone’s red-hot flashy underwear shines above their Calvin Klein‘s, and it’s even more disgusting to see a piece of thread pulled a tad too high, but seriously?
Aren’t there more important issues to deal with like the economy’s effects on University of Tennessee budget cuts, drugs and violence? Whatever happened to freedom of expression? I mean, if I remember history correctly, I believe there’s that bit called the Bill of Rights in the Constitution somewhere, no?
At least they’re trying to protect the state’s integrity… but honestly I think it’s backfiring. Get your priorities straight.
That’s all for tonight. I might post some new links for kicks tomorrow when the new Metro Pulse is available.
Peace out.
Posted in Political Rants | Tagged bill of rights, budget cuts, constitution, fashion, fashion police, freedom of expression, Metro Pulse, redneck tank top, saggy pants bill, stupid laws, Tennessee, twitter, University of Tennessee | 1 Comment »
It always seems that my life plays out like a never-ending romance comedy, you know, like the ones Drew Barrymore always play in—at least I’d like to think it does. Perhaps I’m too dramatic.
Why is it that when we let go of something, or try to, rather, we can’t seem to truly and honestly completely let go of it… especially if that something used to be a huge part of us?
What if that something isn’t a “thing,” at all, but a person?
It just seems that lately a lot of my time has been spent trying to maintain friendships with everyone around me before we all move our separate directions when the semester ends. It seems that something keeps haunting me…
…those little, “What if?” questions seem to always flutter around in my mind.
No, I have no regret nor will I ever for how I’ve lived my life. Sure, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I don’t regret them. Mistakes are just tender learning moments in our lives that we can look back on and hope to God that our children and grandchildren (and great grandchildren if we live that long) will never find out about them. We find elderly people to be wise for a reason—has your grandparent ever once told you about getting drunk that one night or totaling their first car? Not unless they’re teaching you something, and they need credibility to prove that they know what they’re talking about.
But then, those little “What if?” thoughts in my mind go away when I’m comfortable with myself and accept things for the way they are. I know things will never be the way they used to be, and I’m OK with that. Really, I am. Some things are meant to be, and others are like fireworks; they quickly fly up in a spectacle in the sky, light up for a short while, then gradually dim and fall back to the Earth as we all watch from below.
Some things become nostalgic memories we’re fond to look back on and cherish, but we know that our lives can never be the same again.
Posted in Epiphanies, Life | 1 Comment »
You know that old saying, “The other side of the tracks?” If not, it’s kind of like saying “The grass is always greener on the other side.” It’s pretty much along those same lines.
Anyways, I saw first-hand in my backyard that it’s literally true: sometimes depending on what side of the tracks you live on can make a world of difference.
Right now, a portion of Interstate 40 running through Knoxville (conveniently located next to the exit I take to go home) is going through Hell and back, otherwise known as “Smart Fix 40.” (Might I add that someone changed the name a bit… it’s a tad vulgar to put on here, but it’s a play on another word beginning with “f.” Let your imaginations run wild with that one.) The locals, i.e. myself, absolutely love construction around here… especially when you take the wrong exit and end up in the ghetto side of town.
I’ve done this twice. I hate road construction, traffic, and basically any obstruction that lies in my path. I’m a fast driver, I speed, and I like to get places as efficiently as possible. In other words (but some might disagree) I’m a smart driver. My brother once told me that there’s a difference between being a smart driver and a careful driver. This, I’ve witnessed, has truth to it. Hesitation kills, people.
So, when I took the wrong exit my mistake put me in a sketchy, shady, ghetto part of town. At first, I was a bit scared—I’m a young white female driving alone in her probably-not-so-hard-to-break-into car—but after realizing that most of the people living there wouldn’t harm me, I didn’t feel so scared anymore. Instead, I felt sadness rush over me.
There are so many homeless people right across the tracks from me, and I do nothing to help them. Instead, I complain that I don’t have enough money for all the luxuries I want to afford, but I’m fine. I have parents that help me out, friends to confide in, food to keep me more than satisfied, stylish clothes to wear, shelter over my head and a car to get me places I need to go.
They have nothing. If they have anything at all, it’s perseverance. I’ve never had the opportunity to test mine—I mean really, really to truly test my perseverance. Quite honestly, I have high respects for them because I know they’re stronger people than I could ever be.
My whole life I’ve been pampered. Everything has been provided for me on a silver platter. It’s all been so easy so far in my life, but I know a time will come when I won’t have my parents or friends to help me out… and I’ll be on my own. Then, my perserverance and strength will be tested.
Sometimes the not-so-green grass on the other side of the tracks can teach us something about life; it can make us realize what the most important things in life truly are.
Posted in Epiphanies, Life | Tagged homelessness, important things in life, Interstate 40, Knoxville, knoxville tennessee, Life, poverty, road construction, thankfulness, the grass isn't always greener, the other side, the other side of the tracks | 4 Comments »